Your Moments of Feeling Defeated Can Help You Achieve Success.

Whether you're preparing to take the July Bar, recently licensed and looking for employment, or trying to prove yourself as a new attorney, odds are you have had multiple moments of feeling defeated.  I know I have. 

I recently read a great article by Sue Shellenbarger called College Rejects Who Made It Big.  Ms. Shellenbarger's article identifies successful leaders who were rejected by their first-choice college or graduate school, and how that rejection helped them achieve success.  The article sends an important message - rejections, or moments of feeling defeated, can be the door to the next opportunity or the breakdown needed for a breakthrough.  In the article Warren Buffet remembers his rejection by Harvard Business School as a pivotal episode in his life.  He notes "The truth is, everything that has happened in my life . . . that I thought was a crushing event at the time has turned out for the better."  With the exception of health problems, Mr.Buffet notes setbacks teach "lessons that carry you along. You learn that a temporary defeat is not a permanent one. In the end, it can be an opportunity."

Use your setbacks to create a new opportunities.  Here are my tips on how you can do that:

1. Identify your setback. What's the real issue? For example, do you feel defeated because you didn't get the interview or because you feel undervalued? Be clear on what is causing you to feel defeated.
2. Determine whether you could have done something different. For example, did you not get the job because you lacked the experience or grades, or because you failed to properly prepare? Sometimes you can step up your game and sometimes it is just the way the cards fall.  Be sure you know which applies to your setback.
3. Identify what you can learn from the setback.  If you think you could have done something different, then do that next time. Otherwise, evaluate the situation and the lesson what you can learn to help you in the future.
4. Use the experience to create a new opportunity.  Don’t allow your feeling of defeat to deter your plan.  Instead take what you learned and put it into action. The challenge is not that we have setbacks; it is what we do with those setbacks.

Whatever you do, do not let rejection, setbacks, or moments of defeat keep you from reaching your goals.  Just remember, you are in good company – Warren Buffet, Meredith Vieira, Tom Brokaw, Ted Turner, and Scott McNealy all have had their moments of feeling defeated and look where that got them.